I see my seven-year-ago self in a colleague of mine.
Said colleague is starting to experience the burn-out of an educator’s demand and the frustration of things beyond one’s control.
Like me, the colleague has a big heart and wants to do what is right. Sadly, this does not always go the colleague’s way, for multiple reasons.
So, when my colleague comes to me for advice, I try to give insightful tips on how to manage and how to keep going. The last seven years have been quite a journey for me in my career, as well as personally. I know what can happen if one does not decompress and take care of oneself.
Today, I had a chilling reaction to when my colleague expressed something that sounded utterly familiar, like a road that I had once traveled. I hated that road and then myself for making the wrong choice. To go back there in my mind’s memories that I have purposefully tucked away for a reason was somewhat daunting today – so much so that I had to make my brain mentally tell itself to “stop! go back!”
Yet, I feel as though this happened for a reason. There is a reason that the colleague brought up something innocently, which, in turn, triggered some bad memories for me. I did not acknowledge the hauntings to the colleague aloud, but instead continued to focus on how I could guide my colleague to a better place with better decisions. There is a reason that my memories dusted themselves off and brought themselves to the prefrontal cortex’s center stage. There is a reason that I had to make myself shove those memories back into the corner of “Block-Out Land.”
I am human, and that is the reason.
Being Mrs. Tice 
I totally understand what you were feeling. It’s hard when you are reminded of a time in your life when things don’t go well. I’m sure it was not easy to shove those memories away. Good for you!
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It is hard, but I feel blessed to know that I have grown so much since that awful time. Thanks!
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I worry about teachers all of the time. The stress, the stories they learn about their students… it is absolutely the toughest, most important job in the world.
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It is, and other than being a mom, this is all I have ever wanted to do 🙂
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Like Aileen, I worry about my younger colleagues. There’s soooo much pressure to perform. They don’t make enough money to live on. They are constantly being asked to track, or dig for data, or write fancy formatted lesson plans. I love, love, love my job, but I wonder why younger teachers would ever want to stay. Your colleague is lucky to have you as a sounding board!
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Thank you – we are pretty thick as thieves. I had her read my slice. She was apologizing after reading it, and I told her that I wanted her to realize that it will get better and that she has to stay strong!
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